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Obsessed

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Blurb

Did you ever fall in love with someone so hard that you just turned crazy? Like, absolutely bonkers-crazy? Not being able to keep yourself from thinking about the best and the worst scenarios that could lead you to them? That crazy that you even...

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Prologue
'And I know damn well nothing is going to happen between us but-' 'And she would get mad at you, not me?' 'Both of us, obviously. Marlene was just trying to protect us both.' Ridley nodded, making his infamous unamused face. 'Marin, I can't. I couldn't, I could never. I would make a lot of people angry, and I would lose my place in church.' A few moments of awkward silence. This was the first time I had talked to Ridley since I fell in love with him, let alone be alone with him, in a car, on the way to youth group. And don't get me wrong, I was over him, had been over him for a few months, but before that I had been hopelessly in love with him for a year and a half. And now he didn't believe I was over him anymore, because even though I was avoiding the topic with everything I had in me, I still somehow managed to bring the s**t up. I hate myself, truly. 'I want to protect both of us, Marin, that's also why I am keeping my distance.' 'I know.' Another moment of silence with heavy metal in the background. So much had happened in the past two years that I wanted to talk about, but I didn't. I didn't dare to bring them up.  I knew that there had never been nothing between us. There had been this tension between me and him, even when we first met when I was 15 and he was 25. No, I am not saying he is a p*****t or anything, and I still had a relationship back then, but when I first looked him in the eyes I knew there was something about him. And he must have felt the same thing.  You must know, Ridley is a very principled man. If it's dark out he cycles home with women no matter which age, just to make sure they get home safe and well, regardless of the detour he has to take. He always wants to help, he is always there for people, he has a heart of pure gold and everything he does is meant more than well. It's why I fell for him in the first place, he made me feel safe. He thinks I fell for him because he was older than me and had a dominant position over me (as church youth group leader). But a lot had happened to me when I first started crushing on him, a dude had really f****d me up, and he offered me emotional shelter and a listening ear. I was only 16 back then, now I am 18, almost 19.  And you want to know what the worst part of it all is? I am over him, but not totally, because that is never going to happen. Even though every time I see him makes me realise more how we would not have been a great couple, I don't think I will ever fully get over him. I didn't just like him, it wasn't just a teenage girl crush. I loved him, no, I was obsessed with him. Kind of sad for him, because I am pretty sure not a woman in the world will ever love him like I did back then, and I am a trophy wife. But it is better for the both of us, I mean it.

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